A while back we watched the movie I Am Legend. In the movie, a virus has spread across the planet and turned the human race into bloodthirsty monsters. Now, mankind’s only hope for survival is scientist Robert Neville (played by Will Smith), the one person left unaffected by the epidemic. When he’s not fighting for his life against wild animals and the hordes of the infected, Neville searches for a cure to reverse the virus’s effects. It’s a dark and violent movie – not my idea of a relaxing evening. But I noticed something that made me think of so many challenging people I’ve worked with.

The thing that struck me was that in the short time since the epidemic, nature has reclaimed civilization. Wild animals roam the streets of the city while overgrowth makes it look like a jungle. What just a few months before had been a teeming city has become wild and untamed. I was struck by how important it is to actively work against entropy. To apply self-discipline to maintain a civilized lifestyle.

Do you have a person in your group or life who demonstrates the law of entropy? Let’s call him Edgar Entropy. Edgar seems to be all over the place in personal management and grooming. He seems to need constant care and oversight to just stay normal. He doesn’t naturally understand the importance of doing the laundry, taking a shower, or emptying his garbage. Yes, there is usually a mental health problem. And there is almost always childhood wounding. How can you intervene to help an Edgar move forward toward maturity? Over the years, I’ve learned several tips that help move a person away from entropy to civilization.

• Love, love, love. More than anything else, Edgar needs to know that he’s loved and accepted.  He needs to know that you’re glad to be with him. He needs to know that you love him just as he is.

• Notice, notice, notice. Edgar needs you to notice the little itty-bitty baby steps he makes toward wholeness. To you, showing up for church is normal. To Edgar, it’s a huge deal. Notice and affirm.

• Include, include, include: Edgar doesn’t go out much and he doesn’t have friends. An invitation to dinner is priceless. We try to include Edgar in group events as well as inviting him to dinner as often as possible. It’s usually the only good meals he gets and the only companionship.

• Encourage, encourage, encourage. If Edgar shows an interest in growing, set small goals and encourage him to meet them. Daily if possible. The Edgar in my life has problems taking his garbage out. For weeks. He wants to. But he just isn’t self-motivated. We’ve spent several months with my husband or I calling him almost daily to check on and encourage him. He’s just about formed a habit – but not quite. He still slips up regularly.

• Repeat, repeat, repeat. Edgar reminds me of teeth that need braces. Very gentle, constant pressure over a very long time will indeed result in progress. But let him go for a few days and sure enough, the wild animals will take over.

I like fast action. I like instant success. I like for people to “get it” the first time. That won’t be the case with Edgar. In Deuteronomy 7:22, Moses warns the Israelites on the border of the Promised Land, “The LORD your God will drive out those nations before you, little by little. You will not be allowed to eliminate them all at once, or the wild animals will multiply around you.” Yep, that’s the law of entropy. Pay attention or Edgar’s carnal nature will overcome civilization.

Dan Lentz posted a great article on SmallGroups.com on what he calls the bad apple effect. I call it the challenging people effect. No matter what you call it, it can create havoc in your group.

Dan cites a business-based study by Terence Mitchell, a professor of management and organization, and recently published by the University of Washington in the journal Research in Organizational Behavior.

One ‘bad apple’ can spread negative behavior like a virus to bring down office mates or destroy a good team. Negative behavior outweighs positive behavior, so a bad apple can spoil the whole barrel, but one or two good workers can’t ‘unspoil’ it. Companies need to move quickly to deal with such problems because the negativity of just one individual is pervasive and destructive and can spread quickly.”

Dan says, “A few years ago, SmallGroups.com surveyed group leaders and found that 22 percent of them had a situation with a relational offense in their group ‘right now.’ So, from this information, we might assume that at any given time, 1 in 5 groups may have a relational offense situation ongoing. That means the likelihood of your group facing just such a situation is pretty high.”

If you’re facing a challenging situation in your group, don’t forget the Small Group Help! Guides published by Standard Publishing. Dan is author of Let’s Get Started, offering all you need to know to start a group. And my book, Why Didn’t You Warn Me? offers you “right now” answers to those challenging people.

Hagee starts with principle and foundational truths for succeeding in these challenging times, and he encourages his readers to do the same. He says, “Do you want to know why we are shaking as a society? The simple answer is that we have forgotten who we are and what we were designed to be. We have lost touch with all that kept us grounded. We no longer have a sense of certainty about who we are and why we are here.”

He then sets out to set a standard for excellence, perseverance, integrity, character, and diligence in a somewhat systematic step-by-step approach. He challenges the double-mindedness of our era.

He says, “You were created in the express image of God. That’s no small thing. No matter who you are, and regardless of what you are going through, you have nothing to fear. The world around you may be trembling, but nothing in your life needs to shatter.”

If your group members need a bit of stability, this might be a good book to read.

Do you have challenging people in your small group? People who don’t fit in anywhere? I love this quote from S.D. Gaede in Belonging: Our need for Community in Church and Family (Zondervan: 1985).

“More than anything else, community in the modern world depends on our willingness to emulate the Samaritan’s choice—on our willingness to choose to include, to embrace. To include the lovely as well as the loveless. To embrace those who are blessed with modernity’s values as well as those perceived to be valueless. In short, to accept those whom God has placed along our way—not as hindrances to be avoided or helps to be exploited—but as responsibilities to be assumed and as opportunities for community.”

So how does your group, your church, deal with the unlovely? Who reaches out to them? Who invites them to dinner? Who mentors them to fill in that which is missing?

Photo credit: iStockphoto.com

This article describes a method that I developed for studying Scripture using the Word footnote function on my computer. (Yes, I usually study on my computer…)  It’s a method that allows me to have all of my notes readily available in one place, to chart my personal growth or understanding over the years, to jot down a sermon note or quote, and to prepare useful notes for leading a Bible study. I love this method and think you will too. If you’re looking for a better way to corral your study materials, I think you’ll find this useful.

Plus, there are ten other articles to further help you with your study and group prep. Let me know what you think.

Of course, the intervening years have witnessed many changes. The group is no more, having dissolved in the early ‘90s. We’ve seen many marriages, a few divorces, quite a few children (now grown), a couple of deaths, and a lot of grey hair. But for the past 33 or so years, some of the leadership from my era has gathered every New Year’s Day for hot dogs and catch-up. Many of us see one another only once a year, but like true friends, we pick up right where we left off.

This is a wonderful example of the power of Christian groups. We were a large group with many small groups. We lived life together—the good, the bad, and the ugly. I wouldn’t want to do life without these dear friends.

I hope you’re developing lifelong relationships in your groups. You can start by inviting someone over for hot dogs today. Happy New Year.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it…. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God — children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:1-6, 10-14)

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you. May you be blessed with family, friends, joy, health, and most of all, the love of Jesus, the Incarnate One.

Batterson says we have a tendency to complicate Christianity. He suggests that we need to turn from all the modern schemes to promote Christianity, our churches, and our programs, and return to the basics of our faith. He says that Jesus simplified it in the Great Commandment (Mark 12:30), which Batterson calls the Primal Commandment: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” He invites us to become astonished again. If we are to live out the essence of Christianity, we must commit to being great at this Great Commandment.

In Primal, Mark Batterson explores the four elements of Great Commandment Christianity: compassion, wonder, curiosity, and power. Along the way, he calls us to become a part of God’s reformation, starting in your own life.

He writes, “Is there a place in your past where you met God and God met you? A place where your heart broke for the things that break the heart of God? Maybe it was a sermon that became more than a sermon. Maybe it was a mission trip or retreat. Maybe it was a vow you made at an altar. In that moment, God birthed something supernatural in your spirit. You knew you’d never be the same again. My prayer is that this book would take you back to that burning bush—and reignite a primal faith.”

Primal will help you live in light of what matters most and discover what it means to love God. It will help you become great at the Great Commandment. It would be a worthwhile book for your small group.

I’ve been doing a lot of personal ministry lately and have been increasingly impressed again with a book that I carry in my store. I wanted to share it with you in case you need a last minute gift for Christmas. It’s Biblical Foundations for Freedom: Destroying Satan’s Lies with God’s Truth by Art Mathias and it’s the book I was going to write until I discovered it.

Dr. Mathias takes us on a step-by-step tour of the biblical foundations of sickness and freedom. He talks about sin; discernment; accusing spirits; and the major strongholds or principalities of Satan, including bitterness, self-bitterness, jealousy and envy, rejection, fear, and occultism, pharmakia, and sorcery. Within each chapter, he discusses illnesses caused by these strongholds and provides the biblical methods of overcoming each of them. He concludes with a discussion of our authority in Christ and biblical provisions for continuing to walk in health and wholeness. If these simple principles were followed, we would see considerably fewer illnesses in the Body of Christ.

His explanations are clear and readable. Each chapter includes comprehensive checklists to help the reader identify specific strongholds. The people I’ve been working with are finding freedom and understanding.

If you’d like to order this book (or anything else from our product catalog) for Christmas, I’ll ship it priority mail for the price of economy (US only). Just order economy shipping and my office will make the change between now and December 21.

My friend James Watkins has written a simple little book to offer hope and humor in the midst of the lemons. He shares the top ten ways to squeeze the good out of those life-puckering situations. And Jim is a great guide since he’s felt the squeeze of cancer, unemployment, family crises and chronic nose hair. Join him on the journey of making lemonade with hope and humor. You can buy a hard copy or download an electronic version at his website OR, if you’re unemployed, he’s offering a free download! You can also download free questions for your small group if this is a book you’d like to study—all at the website.