May

30

Getting Along with Difficult People

May 30, 2007 | Leave a Comment

Rick Warren has weighed with four skills to deal with difficult people. He lists seven types he calls troublemakers:
* THE SHERMAN TANK - will run over you if you let him.
* THE MEGAPHONE - will talk your ear off.
* THE BUBBLE BUSTER - deflates everyone’s enthusiasm.
* THE VOLCANO - has a temper like Mt. St. […]

May

22

Goddess Spirituality in your Group?

May 22, 2007 | Leave a Comment

As you lead small groups, especially if they’re seeker groups, you will eventually encounter the challenge of  people who have chosen to follow the Goddess or feminine spirituality. With the popularity of Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code, there has been an increased interest in goddess worship.
If you’re like me, this is an area you […]

May

11

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day May 12

May 11, 2007 | 2 Comments

In a follow-up to my post on Chronically Ill are a Challenging Group, I want to alert you that May 12 is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. Read more about the symptoms of fibromyalgia (FMS) and please be gentle with those who tell you they have this disease or others with invisible symptoms.
I had FMS for […]

May

10

Make Sure You Aren’t the Challenging Member!

May 10, 2007 | Leave a Comment

David Rudd at Creative Community offers a review of a chapter called “Four Easy Ways to Ruin a Small Group” from the book Why Small Groups by Mark Mullery. If you want to ruin your group, here are four ways!
1. Do it all yourself.
Don’t give leadership or responsibility to others. Allow the people in […]

May

4

Chronically Ill are a Challenging Group

May 4, 2007 | 6 Comments

“People with chronic illness have a wide range of challenges,” says Rest Ministries’ founder, Lisa Copen, 38, who has lived with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia since 1993. “For some, mornings are very difficult. For others, pain and fatigue is worse in the evening. And once we get to church we are still in pain, trying […]

May

2

Challenging People—God Put Them in Your Group on Purpose

May 2, 2007 | Leave a Comment

In Why Didn’t You Warn Me? How to Deal With Challenging Group Members, I talk about the fact that God is bringing challenging people into the church—and into your small group—on purpose. Where else will they find the healing and maturity they need to become all God created them to be?
I also comment that the […]

Apr

19

Depression in a Small Group Member

April 19, 2007 | Leave a Comment

One of the most difficult jobs of a lay leader is to know when to ignore, when to act, and when to refer. As the shootings at Virginia Tech this week remind us, it’s easy to analyze in retrospect. But how do we do the best possible job proactively?
Christian psychiatrist Grant Mullin has a wonderful […]

Mar

18

More When the Leader is the Problem

March 18, 2007 | 1 Comment

The other side of Judy’s question last week is how she and/or other group members could have reacted. That’s the hard part.
When we’re insulted or misunderstood, or when a person behaves badly, as Judy’s leader did, the problem is that we’re often caught off guard. We’re so shocked we don’t know how to react, so […]

Mar

15

When the Leader is the Problem

March 15, 2007 | Leave a Comment

Judy asked about the leader who is a challenge. She said, “I’ve attended a group where the leader is so “gungho” that the attendees feel like their comments are an interruption. And at times she rejects their comment and rewords it. An example: I said I had felt envious of someone about something; she immediately […]

Mar

13

Tell Us About Your Challenging Person

March 13, 2007 | 1 Comment

Everywhere I go and talk about my new book people tell me about the challenging person in their small group. Why Didn’t You Warn Me? How to Deal with Challenging Group Members identifies 18 types of challenging people and offers insights into how to lead your group while helping them learn to be more functional.
It […]

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