Aug

21

Why Dividing Groups is a Dumb Idea

August 21, 2009 | Comments Off

This post is just one stop on the Sticky Church Blog Tour. To read other posts in the series, visit the Tour Hub.

sticky-church-bigIt’s my turn on the Sticky Church Blog Tour and I get to write about one of my pet peeves—dividing groups, or multiplying as some leaders call it.  For almost as long as I’ve been involved in small groups, the cell group movement seems to have taken center stage. I’ve questioned this approach to small groups, including writing about it from time to time. I always seem to be in the minority. Now Larry Osborne makes my point splendidly in Chapter 15 of Sticky Church.

Larry doesn’t pull any punches in his opinions. He starts the chapter saying, “Dividing groups is a dumb idea.” Period.

In this chapter he explains how and why he believes that groups should not be required to divide when they hit a certain number and why division works against the most important purpose of small groups: significant relationships. He maintains – and so do I – that the best Christian growth and maturity are the result of deep, authentic, safe relationships. And those can’t, won’t, and don’t develop when groups can be divided based on some predetermined indicator. In fact, it’s been my experience that even the possibility of such division serves to keep relationships at a shallow level.

Larry says that for many people, “their small group is the first time they’ve experienced the authentic and transparent relationships they’ve always been told that Christians should have with one another. It’s understandable they’re reluctant to let it go. They know the odds of finding it right away in another group aren’t too high.” This concept is so important in our hurry-scurry Western life. How many of us have the level of relationships we were created to have? Outside of small groups, it’s pretty unlikely.

Larry points out five significant problems that dividing to multiply creates:

1.  Relational Overload: He says that most of us aren’t unfriendly. We’re just “relationally full.” He says that people in groups that keep spinning off may have physical openings in their group, but few have any emotional openings in their lives. I can attest to this. The last time our group talked about even adding people raised an unexpected level of fear in me. I simply had no more emotional space in my life. The idea of needing to bond with more people made me physically ill. The result in our group was the same as Larry suggests:  a predictable clash of expectations. The newest members join hoping to develop significant relationships. But the holdovers aren’t looking to fill a relational vacuum. He says that the problem isn’t cliquishness. It’s a differing set of relational needs, expectations, and capacities. And the question I would ask is, why does any church want us to be good at breaking up??

2.  A Lesson from Camp Pendleton: Serving a church near a military base, Larry has first-hand experience with this problem. He notes that military families who expect to be moved ever few years learn to hold relationships loosely, and so, don’t become deeply invested. They’re friendly, but not deep. It’s self-protection. If this is true of those who can expect to be moved every three years or so, what about those whose groups are reassembled every few months in a fast-growing church?

3.  Mayberry in San Diego: Larry says, “The high mobility of our society has created a culture without roots,” resulting in a culture of anonymity. “Significant long-term relationships are hard to come by – even for Christians well connected within their churches.” Yet the New Testament assumes we are living out our faith in the context of relationships that are close enough to” to carry out the ‘one another’ commands. Small groups are supposed to be the vehicle for this, but periodic dividing sabotages this goal.

4.  Fresh Blood: Groups will add new people naturally, as they experience the normal transitions of life.

5.  Seeding New Groups: To accommodate the need for groups for those new to the church, Larry has two strategies. First is starting new groups for new people, and second, deliberately transitioning apprentices into leaders rather than dividing entire groups.

I loved my chapter. I’m enjoying Sticky Church. Hope you will too.

Bookmark and Share

Comments

Comments are closed.

Name (required)

Email (required)

Website

Speak your mind