May

30

Getting Along with Difficult People

May 30, 2007 | Comments Off

Rick Warren has weighed with four skills to deal with difficult people. He lists seven types he calls troublemakers:

* THE SHERMAN TANK – will run over you if you let him.
* THE MEGAPHONE – will talk your ear off.
* THE BUBBLE BUSTER – deflates everyone’s enthusiasm.
* THE VOLCANO – has a temper like Mt. St. Helens.
* THE CRY BABY – is a chronic complainer.
* THE NIT PICKER – is the unpleasable perfectionist.
* THE SPACE CADET – is on a different wavelength.

Then he offers four broad suggestions for dealing with all of them. I’m not sure that one size really fits all, but these are at least a good start.

However, I object to the moniker of “troublemakers.” When I first wrote Why Didn’t You Warn Me? back in the early 1990s, I called my characters problem people. But over the years, I’ve changed that to challenging people. Why?  Because when I identify a person as a problem in my mind, I automatically view them negatively. I see them as obstacles standing in the way of my success as a leader. I want to fix a problem. No, let’s be honest. I want to get rid of a problem!

But if I truly believe that every person is created in the image of God and is precious in His sight, why would I consider him or her a problem? Rather, I’ve come to view them as challenges. Most challenging people want to fit in and be successful group members; they just don’t know how! Many don’t even realize that their behavior is creating a problem. They aren’t being troublemakers on purpose!

My challenge as a leader is to help and encourage each challenging person to grow to maturity, to help each person become the person God created them to be. And I want to do it as much for their benefit as for mine. What do you think?

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