May

10

Make Sure You Aren’t the Challenging Member!

May 10, 2007 |

David Rudd at Creative Community offers a review of a chapter called “Four Easy Ways to Ruin a Small Group” from the book Why Small Groups by Mark Mullery. If you want to ruin your group, here are four ways!

1. Do it all yourself.
Don’t give leadership or responsibility to others. Allow the people in your group to be nothing but weekly attenders. They’ll stop coming in no time.

2. Strive to become a self-contained mini-church.
Use your group to create your own following. Sprinkle in some gossip and you’ll be well on your way to failure.

3. Have all the answers.
Rather than allowing the group to work through issues together, show everyone that you’re the expert. It won’t take long for them to realize they have nothing to contribute.

4. Go easy on the encouragement.
Don’t spend too much time building each other up or praying together. Keep your group from being too “touchy-feely.” People will soon learn that your group is not a place they can expect to be cared for.

Of course this tongue-in-cheek humor points out how easy it is to discourage people. And folks, discouraged people become challenging people. Because they have a challenged leader. Don’t be one!

In Chapter 2 of Why Didn’t You Warn Me? How to Deal With Challenging Group Members, I encourage leaders to make sure they aren’t the problem. To avoid three more ways to ruin your group. I suggest:

1. Deal with your own stuff.
If you need healing or ministry, get it.

2. Set a goal of restoration, not judgment.
Focus on the messy job of bringing each member to maturity in Jesus Christ rather than judging them.

3. Watch your language.
The way you phrase your comments and hold your body speak far more than the words you say. Learn how to be an effective communicator.


Comments

Name (required)

Email (required)

Website

Speak your mind